A new way of living
by Dimas
Summary: Chapter 10 added. The Warcraft series get cancelled. What will happen to the characters now? My first attempt at a humorous fic.
1. A new life begins

Disclaimer: I don't own Warcraft.

———————

Every major character of the Warcraft series has been gathered in one of Blizzard's offices.

''Why did Blizzard summon us here?'' asked Lady Vashj.

''Maybe they finally decided to start working on Warcraft 4?'' said the Dreadlord Varimathras, taking his seat.

''The spirits say Blizzard wants to double our salaries.'' Thrall said enthusiastically.

Everybody began to laugh hysterically and point fingers at Thrall.

''Yea right, like that's ever gonna happen.'' mocked Muradin.

Their laughter stopped when a high ranking Blizzard official came in.

''Greetings!'' he started, ''Greetings,ladies and gentelmen, living and undead, heroes and villains, humans and fantasy creatures, high elves and night elves, warriors and sorcerers, sane guys and psychopaths, lovers and enemies, old people and youngsters, masters and minions, freaks and...''

''Get on with it already!'' he was rudely interupted by Illidan Stormrage.

''Sorry.'' the official's cheeks turned has never been so embarrassed...

''Well,'' he said after a minute of silence, ''yesterday the UN General Assembly signed a new treaty. The aim of that treaty is to eradicate violence in video games. According to the treaty, the following things are not allowed in a video game's plot: wars, blood, swordfights, weapons, treason, on-screen killings, off-screen killings, assassins, villains who seek to rule the world, monsters, maniacs, terrorists, Aztec gods, Nazis, zombies, ninjas, sexy women, Kil'Jaeden...''

''Hey!'' cried the discriminated Eredar.

''Who can advocate such an idea?!'' shouted Lord Prestor AKA Deathwing.

_Meanwhile at a conference..._

_''Mister President, what is your opinion on the UN's new video game treaty?'' asked a reporter._

_''I advocate it!'' answered George W. Bush._

Back at Blizzard's office...

''As I was saying...'' the official continued, ''such conditions do not allow us to continue the series, so Blizzard decided to cancel it. In other words, you're all fired!''

The Warcraft characters started to panic, some of them fainted, some began to cry, some began to curse Blizzard for their broken lives.

''Ok.'' the official made a careless face and addressed the characters. ''I'm giving you exactly three minutes to leave this property or I'm calling security.''

A month later...

The scene takes place in some apartment. An infinity of cockroaches and ants are crawling on the floor and walls. A housewife is standing in the middle of the room and goes through the adds she got by mail. One add gets her attention.

''_Anub'Arak's extermination squads,' '_she reads the title, ''_Our slogan: Hate bugs? We exterminate!''_

'' Look at all these bugs.'' she says, looking at the bugs with disgust, ''That's the service I need!'' she goes to call them.

An hour later.

She hears a knock on the door, open it and...sees a giant beetle standing in the doorway.

''Greetings, Madame.'' the beetle says slowly, ''You called one of Anub'Arak's extermination squads?''

''Yes.'' she replies, surprised to see a giant bug...

''My name is Anub'Arak.'' he continues, ''May we come in?''

''Sure,'' she replies, a bit awkward.

Anub'Arak walks in, followed by three big undead Nerubian spiders.

''So who should we exterminate?'' he asked, looking at her.

''All of them!'' she says, pointing at the ants and cockroaches...which are all over the apartment.

''Why?"

''I hate them!'' she shouted hysterically.

''Get her!'' commanded Anub'Arak the Nerubians.

In a moment the woman got attacked by the 3 spiders and trapped in a spider web.

''What's wrong with you?!'' she shouted to the Nerubians.

''We protect bugs.'' came the Crypt Lord's reply.

''But you're bug exterminators! Your slogan says you destroy them!''

''You have misunderstood it. Our slogan means we exterminate bug haters...like you.''

The woman begins to scream in agony as the Nerubians start to suck the life (and everything else) out of her body.


	2. The trouble with TV

Medivh's alarm clock wakes the fired Prophet up at 7 a.m. gets up from bed.

''Oh, I forgot that I am fired.'' he looks at the watch with a sad face. ''But no point lying in bed. I think I'll go and watch TV.''

He exits the bedroom, still wearing his favorite red Teletubby pajamas.

The temporary unemployed sorcerer Medivh walks into his fancy living room which has all the needed stuff :expensive Italian furniture, a new TV set, a Persian carpet, etc. (not bad for a creepy guy who's suppose to live in an old nightmarish tower where interdimensional beings and restless souls walk in the dark hallways).He sits down on his Italian sofa, takes the remote and turns the TV on...just in time for a commercial that features some Albino guy. The Albino guy is wearing dark armor with some sort of skull regalia; an old graveyard is seen in the background.

''Hello, I'm Baron Rivendare.'' he starts. ''Do you seek action and adventure?!. Do you have some sick need to kill somebody? Do you want to get a cursed soulsucking sword? Or a genuine Undead horse? Maybe you want to wear cool armor? Like mine!'' he points at his armor, ''Do you want to lead large Undead armies, destroy entire kingdoms, turn strongholds into ruins, burn villages to the ground, pillage, go on a rampage, slaughter, take prisoners, torture anybody you want...''

''Well, congratulations! This is just for you.'' he continues after a moment of silence. A friendly smile appears on his face. ''Join the Death Knights! Currently we are a group of freelance (guess why) knights, but that's not the best part! Our organization has the smallest membership fees in all of the Eastern Kingdoms! Only 10 Lordaeronian dollars per month!'' he puts his hands behind his back, ''And now, ladies and gentlemen, the Four Horsemen will sing our organization's official anthem!''

Some stupid music begins to Medivh sees Sir Zielek, Highlord Morgaine and Lady Blaumeux playing the guitar, and Thane Korthazz playing the drums (a twisted version of the Beatles).The band begins to sing:

''Tili-tili-la-la, la-bu-da-bu-da

La-bu-da,la-bu-la-bu-bu-da

La-la-la-la-tu-tu-ta-tu-tu

La...''

''Wow, wow.'' Baron Rivendare approaches them, ''What's the deal with that 'la-bu-da' stuff?! I told you to sing the anthem!'' anger can be heard in his voice.

''What did you expect?!'' snapped Highlord Morgaine. ''You didn't give us the damned words of that song!''

''Oh, sorry, my bad.'' the baron's cheeks become incredibly red, he turns to the viewers, ''Like I was saying...If you are interested in joining, just call this number.''

The number appears on the screen.

''Thank you for being with us. I am Baron Rivendare, the leader of the Death Knights.'' says Rivendare.

''You're not the leader!'' disagrees Sir Zielek.

'' I am!'' responds Rivendare.

''Liar!'' shouts Thane Korthazz.

''Arthas appointed me the new leader before he...'' Rivendare quickly tells another lie.

''No, he didn't!'' the female Death Knight joins the 'discussion'.

''What else is on?'' says Medivh and flips the channel...

...just in time for a movie trailer.

_Movie trailer_:

Two figures are standing in front of the gates of an old cemetery. One of them is a typical Human peasant (we all know how a peasant in the Warcraft Universe looks).The other is no other than Grom Hellscream, who is wearing black clothes, black boots, a black cloak. A black Freddy Krueger-type hat is on his head.

''They dwell here.'' says the peasant, pointing at the scary graveyard. One can feel the horror in his voice.

''I shall take it from here.'' replies the unconcerned Grom .

''Bless you, Van Hellscream, you're the only one who can save our village from these horrible spirits.''

The hero enters the cemetery, after a few moments of walking he encounters the Banshee Queen (played by Sylvanas Windrunner) face-to-face.

''Welcome to your doom.'' says the Banshee Queen, ''So you're the famous Van Hellscream who has defeated 3 of my banshees.''

''Yes, and I have come to do the same to their queen.'' a grin appears on the hero's face.

''This is suicide, Hellscream.'' she said, and Grom finds himself surrounded by at least 20 banshees.

''The name is Van Hellscream.'' he responds calmly.

''It doesn't matter. My banshee sisters will destroy you. Prepare to suffer from their banshee screams!''

''Prepare for this.'' he says and begins to...scream; the scream is indeed a loud one. ''AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!''

The scream gets louder and the banshees are destroyed by their Queen falls on her knees, covering her ears with her hands.

''Stop it! I give up!'' she shouts.

Grom stops screaming.

''That was ONE HELL OF A SCREAM!'' she admits.

''I know.'' Sounded the protagonist's unemotional voice.

Everything goes black.

Unseen narrator: ''Van Hellscream. Coming soon to your local movie theater.''


	3. Dancing king

35 years earlier...

Two greatest enemies stood one against another in the middle of Shadowmoon valley. This day would forever change their lives…

"You dare challenge me, Durotan?!" laughed the evil warlock Gul'Dan.

Durotan did not reply, just continued to look Gul'Dan in the eyes.

"Fool!'' said the wicked Orc, ''Do you not know that I am the ultimate master of this ancient craft?!"

"I am not afraid of you, Gul'Dan, your skills did not improve the Horde, they've made everything far worse, but today, evil one, you will be defeated.'' a yellow glow formed around the shaman's fingers.

"Let it be so. I accept your little competition." a mad grin appeared on Gul'Dan's face. "Who will start?"

"You.''

''Cho'Gall!" he said to his most devoted follower, ''Hit the music!''

After a moment, hip-hop music began to play, and Gul'Dan engaged...in a breakdance.

35 years later...

It was the opening day of Illidan's dance studio. The former Demon Hunter Illidan Stormrage (in his pre-Warcraft 3:Frozen Throne appearance) stood near the door, waiting for his first customer.

"This is got to be my best idea.'' he couldn't hide the suspense. ''This business will make me rich!''

After a few hours of waiting, Illidan got his first customer. The door opened and an ordinary man, about 27 years old, walked in.

''Hello there! And welcome to Illidan's dance studio!'' he greeted his customer, ''I am Illidan Stormrage...your dance instructor.''

It didn't take long for the young man to react.

''But you're blind...''he started, looking at his black bandana.

''How dare you?!'' snapped the Warcraft character .''Is this some sort of bias?!"

''No...''

''You think blind people have no rights to live?!'' he continued his paranoid accusations.

''You don't understand...''

''Oh, I understand! You hate blind people!''

''No...''

''No? So you only hate blind Night Elves?!'' he carried on with the interrogation and prepared to use his Mana Burn ability on the poor guy, ''YOU SICK PERSON!''

''Please! Let me explain!'' the young man began to cry (the pressure was too much for him).

''I didn't know that blind people can be dance instructors!'' he continued to cry, ''Please forgive me.''

''Ok, stop crying.'' Illidan made a caring face, ''I understand you came here to take dance lessons. What do you want to learn first?"

"Well, me and my girlfriend are getting married next week, but I can't dance,'' explained the guy.

''Follow me.'' said Illidan.

The "dance instructor" led his new pupil to the dance floor.

''Your name is?'' asked Stormrage.

''Steve Othello.'' came the answer.

''So, Steve, what do you want to learn first?''he asked, ''Boogie-woogie, the Cha Cha Cha, some traditional Japanese dance, Punk dance, Salsa...''

''Something that is usually performed on weddings.''

''I know.'' the instructor came up with an idea, ''Step!''

''Step where?"

''I meant a Step dance. You know that I once won 3rd place in a Step dance contest in my hometown?'' after a moment he continued, ''Well, there were only 3 contestants...but that's not the point!'' a stupid smile appeared on his face.

''Music!'' shouted the Night Elf; an Irish melody began to play, and he began to dance (I hope you know how a Step dance is performed).

But the performance was weak.

''Ok, maybe I'm not good in this genre of dance.'' Illidan admitted. ''But nobody performs this dance on weddings!'' he finally remembered. ''So let's find an alternative.''

''Maybe...''Steve was about to suggest...

''I know!'' instructor Illidan came up with another idea. ''A Belly dance!''

''A Belly dance?'' Steve had another dance in mind. ''Maybe...''

''You know, I am thousands of years old.'' Illidan said and remembered something that once happened to him. ''I remember it. Egypt, year 30 BC. I once performed a Belly dance in the royal palace for the entertainment of Queen Cleopatra.'' he felt the warmth of this memory on his bare skin.

''Really? What was her reaction?"

''She made a poisonous snake bite her and died.'' he said calmly since it meant nothing to him, ''I shall perform it!''

Egyptian music began to play and Illidan began to 's. This performance of a Belly dance was the most disgusting thing Steve had ever seen, so, logically, began to feel sorry for poor Cleopatra.

''Stop it already!'' shouted Steve, ''In the name of all that is good! Please stop it!''

Illidan did so.

''Ok, maybe I'm not good in this genre of dance as well.'' he admitted again, ''But this dance is usually performed by ,and it's not performed on weddings.'' he thought of an excuse.

''Maybe you'll teach me to dance the waltz?" Steve still believed in his blind dance instructor (how stupid can Steve be?).

''The waltz is pathetic!'' Illidan spat on the floor.

A moment later the door opened, and a man came in...dressed like a 19th century Austrian composer.

''Oh goodie, another costumer." cheered Illidan.

''I am Johann Strauss, the famous Austrian composer.'' answered the man (with a strong Germanic accent).''I am also known as the 'King of waltzes'.''

He approached Illidan and gave him a punch in the face...which sent the Warcraft character to the floor, yet it didn't stop the famous composer, and he kicked poor Illidan in the groin.

''Don't say anything bad about waltzes again, you jerk!'' Strauss warned the defeated Elf.''Oh, and your dancing sucks!'' he spat on Illidan and left the dance studio.

Steve Othello watched the whole thing with horror.

''That Strauss guy can give a powerful beating.'' Illidan sat up.

''Now I realize one thing.'' Illidan sat up. ''I'm a horrible dance instructor!'' he was very sad.

Steve caught Illidan's sad expression and decided to cheer him up.

''You're not that bad.'' Steve said, trying to cheer him up, yet understanding that the composer was right.

''No. I'm horrible! I have absorbed the power from the skull of Gul'Dan. I got his power and his memories, but I didn't get his great dancing skills!''

''Illidan, let's continue the lesson.'' he said.

''Sure.'' Illidan stood up, ''By the way, what's the name of the lucky lady?"

''Desdemona Johnson.'' her beautiful image appeared before his eyes.

''I know her.'' Illidan recognized a familiar name.

''Really?''

''She once slept with my ally Kael'Thas Sunstrider.''

''What?" you should have seen Steve Othello's face, ''When did that happen?!"

''About three months ago.''

''We've been dating for two years!'' Steve cried, .''You're not mistaking?'' he looked at Illidan.

''No. She even gave him a handkerchief, but he lost it. Luckily, I found it.'' he pulled his hand into his pocket and withdrew a handkerchief.'' But I didn't have the chance to return it.''

''I recognize this handkerchief.'' Steve pointed at the colorful hanky, ''It was a gift to her from me!''

''I suppose you want it back.''

''How could she?!'' Steve grabbed his head. ''Oh, the shame!''

''I shall strangle her!'' Steve Othello shouted and ran out of the dance studio.

''Now what do you know...''Illidan said after a moment of silence, surprised by the outcome, ''The true story of Othello and Desdemona.''

Morale of this chapter: Don't believe everything Shakespeare says...


	4. Kil'Jaeden vs the UN

The plaintiff, the defendant, the bailiff, and the jury were ready. They were waiting for the judge.

''The plaintiff is the Eredar Kil'Jaeden.'' started the announcer, he pointed at the demon (Kil'Jaeden is human sized in this fic).

''The plaintiff claims that the United Nations are discriminating him.'' he pointed at the UN's representative. ''He claims that the UN's new video game treaty does not allow him to star in is suing for a 10 000 000 000 dollar compensation.''

The announcer looked at the UN's representative. ''The UN claims that the demon is lying, and the new treaty was signed to leave violence out of video games.'' he looked at the jury .''And this is our fine jury...members of the UN Security Council.''

''That's not fair!'' objected Kil'Jaeden, but nobody gave a reply.

''All rise!'' said the bailiff, ''Now residing the Honorable Judge...the General Secretary of the United Nations.''

''This can't be possible.'' the demon whispered, ''They're all from the UN...''

''Order in the court!'' said the ''judge'', taking his seat and taking the little hammer in his hand. ''Mister Kil'Jaeden,do you have a lawyer?''

''No, Your Honour, I will be defending myself.''he said proudly.

''Sorry, Mister Kil'Jaeden, but you are not permitted to do that,'' responded the judge.

''Why is that?!''

''You see...'' the judge was trying to find the right words. ''Three days ago the UN General Assembly signed another treaty. According to THIS TREATY, any Eredar who's name is Kil'Jaeden is not allowed to defend himself in court."

''What?!'' shouted the enraged demon and turned his angry face to UN representative and the jury...and saw them laughing, ''Someday...someday...I will get you guys for this.''

''Don't worry, Mister Kil'Jaeden, we have found a lawyer for you.'' the judge gave him a warm smile.

''Is he from the UN too?'' asked the leader of the Burning Legion, already predicting the lawyer's workplace.

''No.''

The door opened and a man dressed like an ordinary lawyer came in, carrying a briefcase with him.

''Marshal Garithos, Attorney at Law!'' he introduced himself.

''No! Not this guy!'' cried the Eredar, pointing at his new lawyer.

''And why is that?" asked the judge.

''He is the lamest character of the Warcraft series!''

''That's not true!'' lawyer Garithos tried to defend himself.

''Oh, really?'' the Eredar frowned.

------------------Flashback------------

Grauman's Chinese Theater in Hollywood, Los Angeles.

The audience had taken their seats; a host and a hostess stood on the stage.

''So, ladies and gentlemen...''started the host, ''We are going to introduce you to the finalists.''

''And the finalists are...'' the hostess started and after a moment of silence continued, ''The Archmage Rhonin from Warcraft: Day of the Dragon! The Ogre mage Mogor from Warcraft 2: Beyond the Dark Portal! And Marshal Garithos from Warcraft 3: The Frozen Throne!''

Images of the three finalists appeared on the big screen behind the hosts.

''The competition is tough this year.'' smiled the host. ''But only one of them will win the Golden Loser statuette.''

''That's right.'' the hostess added in disgust. ''All of the finalists are deeply despised, but only the worst one will be awarded.''

''And the winner is...''the host looked at the piece of paper with the ''winner's'' name on it. ''Marshal Garithos!''

Everybody began to laugh...at Garithos.

''Marshal Garithos!'' addressed the host, ''Come here, take your award...and suffer from humiliation!''

Two grunts came to the stage, dragging Garithos with them.

''Please! Don't do this to me! No!'' Garithos struggled to get free.

''Loser! Loser! Loser!'' the audience continued to torment him.

''Mommy!'' cried the once proud Alliance official.

------------End of flashback--------------

''Ok, I admit it!'' lawyer Garithos continued his own defense, ''I stink as a Warcraft character, but I'm still a good lawyer. I'll show you.''

He withdrew a VHS from his briefcase, went to the TV set which was in the courtroom, inserted the VHS into the video cassette recorder. With that they began to watch the video.

A man, about 35 years old, appeared on the screen; he was sitting in his prison cell.

'' Hello, my name's Al.'' he started. ''Once I stole a bottle of lemonade and got caught. That was the only crime I've ever committed. I hired Garithos to protect me, and he in he did.''

''Now I'm serving a life sentence in jail!'' he added after a moment of silence. ''THANKS A LOT, GARITHOS!'' you could just feel the sarcasm in his voice.

''So,you see? I am a lawyer.'' the Warcraft character said proudly, as though he wasn't paying attention to the video's plot.

''Good. You are allowed to defend Kil'Jaeden.''said the lawyer.

''No!'' protested the demon, scared by the content of the video, ''Look, do I really need him to protect me?''

''Sorry, currently there's no alternative.'' answered the judge.

Garithos approached the Eredar and put his hand on the demon's shoulder, ''We will win this case.''

Later.

''Kil'Jaeden, I sentence you to life in prison!'' the judge gave his verdict. ''Guards! Take this scum out of here!''

''No!'' shouted the demon in disbelief, ''This is impossible!''

''Too bad. That will be 1 000 000 dollars for my services.'' said Garithos calmly.

''What for?! Look what you've got me into!'' tears came to the demon's eyes.

''So, what's your point?"

''Die, bastard!'' the enraged Eredar warlock raised his hand.

''Not again...''was the only thing Garithos could say...before being squashed by a falling comet (again).


	5. A new hunting season

The scene takes place in a cave somewhere in Afghanistan.

''Give up, bin Laden!'' Maiev Shadowsong addressed her latest archnemesis.

''Never!'' came Osama bin Laden's heavy accented voice. The terrorist was sitting in a chair not far from the Watchers .He was wearing his famous robe and his famous turban.

Maiev, Naisha and 10 other Watchers had already defeated all of the Talliban fighters in the cave; now they were preparing to take down the main villain.

''The CIA gave me an order to capture you, and nothing will stop me!'' Maiev addressed the international terrorist, and the Watchers made a step towards him.

''I must admit, Watcher, I have underestimated you.'' the terrorist stood up, ''But your attempts to capture me will be fruitless.''

''Where did I hear that before?" she thought. These words reminded her the previous prey. How was Illidan doing?

''You know, Maiev,'' bin Laden said calmly, ''One day your blind hunt for justice will bring you to your downfall. This is quite common in fiction? Blinded by vengeance, many great herpes chase their enemies across the known world, fight until the last man—or fantasy being, that is—achieve victory...and become the same evil that they fought against.'' the terrorist began to speak louder, ''This is a warning to you, Maiev Shadowsong! You may become the evil that you fought may become like...me.'' an evil smile appeared on his face.

''I see you've done a lot of research on this topic.'' she responded, nodding surprised. ''But my downfall will never happen.''

''You sure?"

''You're just saying that to plant a seed of doubt in my soul!'' she proclaimed, and dramatic music began to play in the background.

''You're saying that because you want me to lose my faith in my goal! You're saying that because you want me to abandon my holy quest to bring bad guys like you to justice! But know this, bin Laden, your diabolical plan will fail! Your reign of terror ends now! Give up, villain!'' she took a heroic pose, ''Stop the music already!''

The music stopped playing.

''We will defeat you, Maiev Shadowsong!'' came Osama's villainous laughter.

''You and who's elite guard of Naga?'' Maiev and Naisha laughed.

''My elite guard of Naga! Look behind you!''

The watchers turned around and saw 8 Naga Myrmidon, 2 Naga Sirens, and 1 Naga Sea Witch at the cave's entrance.

''Is it just me, or is bin Laden the new leader of the Naga?" asked the amazed Naisha

''This guy is even worse than Illidan,'' Maiev compared her two enemies.

''This is going to be amusing.'' said bin Laden and took his seat. ''Let the battle begin!''

And following the order of their new boss, a battle broke out, and the Night Elves and Naga fell in it (but we all know that the deaths of Warcraft characters are not permanent: remember Balnazzar, Ogrim Doomhammer, Illidan, Alleria Windrunner...). but the main hero survived.

Silently Maiev stood, the Naga and Night Elves had perished but they all will return again...they will return...She looked at bin Laden with deep hatred.

''So, what's your new plan?" she slowly asked.

''Dog meat.'' said bin Laden.

''That bad?" a grin appeared on her Laden stood up and made a couple of steps towards her.

''No.'' he pulled his hand into the pocket of his robe...

''This really is dog meat!'' proclaimed Maiev with disgust, looking at the piece of dog meat in Osama's hand.

''I know. Isn't it sinister?''

''No. Is that the best you could come up with?"

''This meat used to be your dog, Scippy!'' the villain laughed, ''My fighters abducted him.''

''You madman!'' cried Maiev, now aware of the grim fate of her pet.

''I tortured him.''

''No!'' that was to much for her to handle, ''Scippy!''

''His death was slow and terrible...''bin Laden added with sadistic pleasure.

''Why did you do it?" the Warden fell to her knees; she couldn't stop crying.

''Because I'm EVIL!'' he threw the meat to her feet.

''AAAAHHHHH!'' Maiev screamed and disappeared (thanks to her 'Blink' skill).

''What a baby.'' laughed bin Laden, turned around...

...and got a strong punch right in the kisser which sent him flying across place. The bad guy landed (on his head) near the cave's entrance.

''This is for Scippy!'' shouted the Warden and withdrew her blade. ''You're going down, Osama!''

''That was one powerful punch,'' admitted bin Laden, standing up, and looked at Maiev's blade. ''I think I should change tactics...''

''PANIC!'' he ran out of the cave, screaming like a little girl. But he had forgotten to take one important fact into consideration...

''Aiieee!'' Osama screamed, falling of a cliff.

Is this the end of Osama bin Laden? Will Maiev Shadowsong overcome her emotional trauma? Will Goblins become a playable race in WOW?

Probably not.


	6. We are Legion

"I was once a respected Archmage, a member of the Kirin Tor, and a citizen of Dalaran. Yet soon I began hearing voices. Everybody began to think that I was going mad. My wife left me, I lost my job, I lost my apartment, I was forced to live on the street. Still, I believed in that voice. I wandered the frozen wastelands, but I was not alone. The voice, now my only companion, guided me to my destination. I began to serve the Lich King, got great power, became a powerful necromancer, brought the Plague to Lordaeron, got murdered, got resurrected and became a Lich. For years I had terrorized the land of Lordaeron, and every puny creature trembled at the mere mention of my name. And why am I saying all this crap? Anyway, then the Warcraft series were canceled, and I was left without work... but I knew what to do. I decided to gather 13 of the most horrible Undead villains the world has ever known. Now shake in fear! For I have returned! I am Kel'Thuzad! Your curiosity will be the death of you.''

''Who are you talking to?'' sounded a dry voice.

''That Lich is crazy!'' sounded another voice.

''What an idiot.'' was the third voice.

Kel'Thuzad came to his senses and turned (for several hours the Lich had been looking at the wall and talking to himself) to the 13 undead who were looking at the Lich like at some sort of a moron. For Kel'Thuzad there has never been so was a humiliating moment indeed.

The scene took place in a conference room inside. The "guests"(the 9 Nazguls, Freddy Krueger, the mummy Imhotep, Count Dracula and Jason Voorhees) were sitting at the table and waiting for the host's speech.

''My fellow bad guys!'' Kel'Thuzad started, ''Have you ever noticed that undead villains always lose to the protagonists? But this will change today! I have gathered you to form a powerful undead supervillain alliance. Together we will be victorious! Together we will crush everybody who stands in our way!''

The villains began to cheer.

''So are you with me?'' asked the Lich.

''Yes!'' came the reply.

''What name should our new organization have? Any suggestions?" continued Kel'Thuzad.

''The Undead Gang!'' was Krueger's choice.

''How about The Legion of Horror?" suggested the Nazgul leader, the Witch-King of Angmar.

''I know! I know!'' Dracula jumped up and raised his hand, ''The Forces of Evil!''

The reaction was predictable." Is he serious?", ''Boo-oo!", "You suck!", "Loser!", "Down with Dracula!". In other words, nobody liked Dracula's idea.

The villains had a results: Kel'Thuzad, Freddy, Imhotep and 4 Nazguls voted for 'The Undead Gang', Jason and 5 Nazguls voted for 'The Legion of Horror', and Dracula voted for 'The Forces of Evil' (why am I not amazed).

''Ok, I now officially declare the foundation of The Undead Gang.'' proclaimed the Lich, ''And tomorrow we will...take over Paris!''

''One moment!'' disagreed Imhotep, ''Who appointed Kel'Thuzad the leader?"

''What do you mean?!'' snapped the Lich, ''I'm the founder of this organization!''

''So what? You're still a rookie in this business,'' added Krueger.

''Hey!'' protested the humiliated Lich, ''So which one of you think he could be a better leader than me?''

EVERYBODY raised hands.

''Didn't expect that,'' admitted Kel'Thuzad, ''But you forgot one thing!'' He pulled a remote out of his pocket.

''What's this suppose to do?" laughed Imhotep.

''This.'' he pressed a button on the remote, and the mummy fell through a trapdoor.

A moment after they heard a dragon burping.

''Oh, I forgot to tell you that this conference room is located just above the Lair of Sapphiron, so if you won't cooperate...''Kel'Thuzad explained in a friendly tone, ''Any other objections?" his voice became harsh.

Silence followed

''Ok, so we attack Paris at sunrise!'' proclaimed the Lich.

''Can't be done.'' replied Dracula, ''I can't because I am a...''

''You dare challenge my authority?!'' rudely interrupted Kel'Thuzad.

''No, you don't understand...''

''The Undead Gang does not need a cheap vampire wannabe like you!'' The Lich pressed another button on the blinded by rage, he accidentally pressed the wrong one...

All of the trapdoors opened ,and all members of the Undead Gang (including Kel'Thuzad) fell into the lair of Sapphiron.

Inside the lair Kel'Thuzad regained consciousness...and saw the Frost Wyrm preparing to devour him, ''HOLEY SMOKES!'' he shouted.

The scene warped to that of lake with the Undead Gang standing on the shore.

''Hello, ladies and gentlemen,'' said the seemingly untouched Lich, ''We are the Undead Gang.''

''Yep.'' Nodded Jason.

''No doubts about it.'' Added the leader of the Nazguls.

''We would like to inform you that none of the members of the Undead Gang were eaten by a savage Undead Dragon.'' continued Lich.

''So, don't worry. Everything's fine.'' a grin appeared on Dracula's face.

Then Sapphiron emerged from the lake behind them, roaring.

''Oh my, we have to get going. Thank you for being with us.'' the 13 villains said in unison, ''And we are the Undead Gang!''

''Run for Ravenloft!'' shouted Freddy.

With that they ran away, chased by Sapphiron.


	7. The Show: Part 1

The next scene takes place in a studio…

All of the guests had taken their seats, and the hostess appeared.

''Hello, my dear viewers!'' she proclaimed cheerfully, ''I am your hostess Sylvanas Windrunner, and welcome to _My man is a BASTARD!_—the No1 show for women!'' this time she was in her High Elf form.

Her statement was greeted with applauses.

''Today we are going to discuss the grim fate of a woman whose husbands are BASTARDS,'' the hostess always said the word 'BASTARD' with disgust, ''I'm going to read a letter from one of our viewers.''

''_Dear Sylvanas_," the hostess began to read the letter, ''_I have a husband, and he is a BASTARD! He does not allow me to live the life I want and even beat me up a month ago..._''

The audience sighed in horror.

''The author of this letter has come to this studio. Please help me welcome... Tyrande Whisperwind!''

A new round of applauding, and Tyrande walked into the studio and sat down on one of the sofas, opposite to the hostess.

''Tyrande, please tell your problem to the viewers.''

''I was at home, _caring_ for the son of my former school teacher...'' started the heroine, crying.

''How old was the boy?''

''3, 5...thousand years old.''

''Please continue.''

''Then my husband came home, saw him and began mercilessly beating me up with his staff...''

''And what did that BASTARD do to the _boy_?'' asked Sylvanas, shocked.

''My husband tore off his beard.'' Tyrande continued crying.

''Did you try to protect yourself?''

''I pushed him.''

''Tyrande Whisperwind, you are a true heroine!'' proclaimed Sylvanas, jumping up, ''The audience supports you.''

The audience began to cheer.

''And now, ladies and gentlemen! We are going to meet the cause of Tyrande's numerous problems.'' The hostess said, ''Meet that BASTARD Malfurion Stormrage.''

''Malfurion rode into the studio in a wheelchair, his whole body in bandages.

''What happened to you?" asked the hostess, pretending as if she cared.

''Tyrande pushed me...and I fell off the balcony,'' Malfurion answered, ''Unfortunately, we live on the 10th floor.''

''You got what you deserved, BASTARD! How dare you raise your dirty hand on your wife?!'' Sylvanas was surely biased.

''Tyrande, look what you've done to me!'' the Warcraft character looked at his wife, ''I have had to stay in the hospital for a month.''

''And now let me introduce you to Garona! She is a nurse at the hospital where Malfurion is staying.''

Garona walked approached Malfurion and kissed him.

''Malfurion, we're gonna have a baby,'' she said with joy, ''Now you can leave your pantergirl Tyrande and be my husband.''

''How dare you seduce my man, dog!'' shouted Tyrande, standing up, it is amazing how people (and Night Elves) quickly forget their problems at the mere sight of competition, ''Come back to me, Malfurion.''

''Sorry, Garona, but we are completely different personalities. We can never be happy together!'' Malfurion addressed the nurse.

''You pig!'' cried Garona and slapped his cheek.

''How dare you call my husband a pig, you dog!'' Tyrande defended her husband.

''Shut up, catgirl!'' came Garona's reply.

''Garona, relax,'' Malfurion tried calming her down.

''Pig!''

''Dog!''

''Catgirl!''

''Garona, relax...''

''Pig!''

''Dog!''

''Catgirl!''

''Enough with the zoo already!'' shouted Shouted; the whole scandal stopped.

''We will be right back after this commercial,'' the hostess added.

_Commercial No 1_

We see Shandris Feathermoon (wearing a T-shirt and a miniskirt) sitting on a chair.

''I have shaved my left leg with an ordinary shaver, ''Shandris pointed at her left leg, ''but I shaved my right leg with a claw of a Dreadlord,'' she pointed at her right leg.

''See the difference?" a seductive smile appeared on her face, ''Of course you don't!'' her voice suddenly became harsh.

''Because it happened in a dream!'' she shouted and sank in crazy laughter, ''HAAAHAAAHAA!''

_End of Commercial No 1_

To be continued...


	8. The Show: Part 2

_Commercial No 2_

We see a familiar-to-us-all man dressed as a Confederate general.

''Hello, I'm George W!'' he proclaimed with a strong Texas accent, ''and I know what you're thinking. Why am I dressed like a Confederate general? Well, this has nothing to do with what I'm about to say.''

''I know that you're bored. I know that the best games got cancelled!'' he continued, ''But turn that frown upside down!" he pointed at the viewers ''An alternative exists! Watch _George W: The Movie_!''

''Yeeeha! This movie features me— George W.— and my boring paperwork. Only me—George W.— and my boring paperwork. If you're expecting to see robots, fantasy worlds, magic, conspiracy theories, and adventures...then forget about them! This movie only features me—George W.—and my boring paperwork. Moreover, the sequel, _George W: More Paperwork_,will be out next month. So don't be a jerk! Get your money and go watch _George W: The Movie_ at your local movie theater!''

_End of Commercial No2_

(Author's Note: If you didn't get who's George W...then you have no ties with reality.)

Back at the studio.

''We're on the air again,'' said Sylvanas, ''now it is time for the audience to ask their questions, and maybe somebody can give our guests a word of advice?''

The microphone was passed to the Pandaren Brewmaster Chen Stormscout.

''I want to give a word of advice to George W.'' the panda's voice showed that the he was drunk, ''He should...Aahh, I'm too drunk to talk.''

''Security, get this stupid drunkard out of here!'' Sylvanas barked, deep hatred in her voice.

''Sylvanas, we can't, he's the sponsor of this show.'' said one of the guards.

''The sponsor?!'' her voice suddenly became soft and friendly, ''Well, what are you waiting for?! Get our dear sponsor something to drink.''

The microphone was passed to Cenarius.

''Mortals! I am Cenarius, a member Greenpeace!'' he started, ''I have an advice for you! Save the endangered species! They are close to extinction!''

''Sir, this is a show about love.''

''That's the point! Only your love for wildlife and our planet can save endangered species!''

''Pass the microphone to Jaina Proudmoore!'' ordered Sylvanas, ''Jaina is an activist of the Women Rights Watch.''

The microphone was passed to a young blond woman.

''I express my solidarity with Tyrande Whisperwind!'' Jaina said proudly, ''Men are dirty, evil, backstabbing creatures. We women should be the true rulers of the world! I don't understand why we even need men.''

''What would you do to a man?" the hostess sat next to Jaina.

''I would undress him, put him on his knees and hit with a whip .''Jaina said with passionate delight, her eyes closed, ''and hit him with a whip again! And hit him with a whip again! And again! And again! That would be delicious.''

After listening Jaina's 'lecture', Sylvanas stood up and walked towards the other side of the studio, ''Now now, my dear viewers, I'm going to talk to a real shaman who has the ability to communicate with spirits, maybe they can give us all an advice''

She approached Thrall's orc was sitting and smoking cannabis.

''Ladies and gentlemen, meet Thrall, son of Durotan,'' she introduced the shaman to the studio.'',could the spirits give an advice to our heroes and viewers?"

''Give me a couple of seconds.'' said Thrall and continued smoking his weed.

In a couple of seconds his eyes became wide.

''The spirits say...''sounded Thrall's drugged voice, ''the spirits say that an omen will appear. A Great Source of Light...''he looked around, searching. ''There it is! I see it!'' Thrall jumped up and pointed at the source of bright light, shouting. ''I see the Light!''

''Thrall, that's a projector.'' explained Silvanas.

''The End is near! The End is near!'' the Far seer continued his warnings.

''It's just a projector! Every studio has projectors!''

''The sky will be devoured by flames, oceans will boil, we will all turn into ashes! The End is near!''

Ten minutes later Thrall got locked up in an asylum for the mentally ill.

''Ok, now let's meet the Masked Guest.'' proclaimed the hostess when the so-called 'Thrall incident' was over, ''for personal reasons she wants to keep her identity a secret. ''

A person in red robes walked in and sat on the guest's sofa. The face was not seen under the mask.

''I am wearing this mask now because I do not want to reveal my identity,'' the Masked Guest started the tale, ''I'm an ordinary young lady. I have nothing to do with Warcraft because every male character there is a BASTARD." The guest pronounced that word in the style of the hostess, but then added, '' Except Kael'Thas Sunstrider; now he is a real man! No, not just a man, he's a saint! A holy embodiment of manliness! He's intelligent, strong, sexy...''

''But Kael'Thas Sunstrider sold his own girlfriend into slavery!'' disagreed Sylvanas.

''It's a lie!'' the Masked Guest stood up, the voice now resembling a Blood Elf male one, ''I did not do such a thing...Errrhhh...I mean, Kael'Thas would not do such a thing!''

''And your name is?"

''My name is Kael...Erhh…My name is Tiffany!''

''Thank you for an interesting discussion, Tiffany, but we have run out of time.'' proclaimed the unsuspecting Sylvanas.

''This is it for this edition of _My husband is a BASTARD_. Thanks for being with us. I'm the show's hostess Sylvanas Windrunner. See you next week!''


	9. Tale of three villains

-------Several months earlier. -------

The scene takes places at an Undead base somewhere in Northrend.

The Scourge was ,crypt fiends, abominations, necromancers...Soon this horde would begin its new only needed the command of their great leader.

Several minutes later Arthas returned to the base from Blizzard's, riding his loyal Undead Steed, and two necromancers approached their master to greet him.

''Welcome back, My Lord.'' sounded the creepy voice of the first necromancer.'' The Scourge is prepared to invade Azeroth.''

''Excellent.'' said the fallen Prince, a victorious smile appeared on his face, ''This day isn't that bad after all.''

''How was the meeting at Blizzard's?" asked the other necromancer...who was a big fan of Blizzard's games.

''Nothing much.'' answered Arthas, ''A Blizzard official told me and the other major characters that the series got cancelled.''

''Cancelled!'' shouted the army, shocked.

''That means Blizzard will not pay us anymore?" asked one of the abominations.

''You got that, we're all fired.'' said impatiently, ''Now let's hurry. I want to take over the world by the end of this month.''

''But who will be paying us for the upcoming military campaign?'' asked the first necromancer.

''You are planning to pay us from now on,Master?''asked the other necromancer,hope shining in his eyes.

''Heck no!'' barked Arthas.

''Then we're going on a strike!'' said the Scourge fighters in unison.

''My dear minions!'' Arthas the Lich King started his speech, trying to remain in control of the situation, ''Remember the time we spent together! Are you going to abandon me, your master?! After all we've been to?! Our relationship isn't based on money! It's based on respect!''

But the army didn't listen to him, a demonstration started.

The angry Undead began burning the portraits of Ner'Zhul, Arthas Menethil, Kel'Thuzad, Anub'Arak and other top Scourge commanders, while shouting ''Arthas is a jerk!'' and ''We will not fight for a myth!''.

In this chaos Arthas decided to try a different approach.

''Now listen here, you freaks!'' he shouted, ''You will do what I say! Because I am more powerful than you are.''

The crowd became restless.

''Let's get him!'' shouted one of the acolytes.

With that, the Scourge attacked Arthas and beat him up.

-----Present time---------

Arthas Menethil returned to the Ruins of Lordaeron City at nightfall and parked his steed outside the ruined palace. There were no Forsaken around (because they did not want to continue Sylvanas' crusade of blind revenge and had found new jobs).He got off his undead horse and walked towards the palace's entrance.

It was cold and dark inside the former royal palace.

''I should have thought of it earlier,'' the fallen paladin said in a sinister tone, a villainous smile spread across his face.

He knew what he would be doing from now on—he would become a famous outlaw and pillage the locals!

His thoughts were interrupted by footsteps and heavy breathing.

''Welcome home, Arthas Menethil.'' a figure stepped out of the shadows, ''I've been waiting for you.''

''Ah, I'm surprised to see you here,'' a frown appeared on Arthas' face, ''We meet again...Darth Vader.''

''This will be our last encounter. Oh-ho.'' Vader activated his red lightsaber, ''I have come to take my revenge.''

Arthas withdrew Frostmourne from the scabbard, and Vader attacked.

''How is this possible? Oh-ho.'' asked the Sith as the two supervillains crossed swords, ''My saber should have cut your sword in two!''

''This is my world, Vader! And the laws here are different!'' shouted Arthas, triumphant.

''Your pride will be the end of you, my archnemesis.'' the Sith swung his weapon again.

Arthas blocked the blow, ''Are you still upset that I stole Kelly from you, Vader?''

''She was the last thing dear to me, vengeance is all I have left!''

''I really should stop stealing girlfriends,'' the Warcraft character admitted.

-----Flashback-----

Vader and his girlfriend Kelly(she's an original character) sat in a had long red hair and wore a long pink dress, and Vader wore...well, you know what.

''My dear,'' sounded her soft voice, ''You are the best supervillain I've ever dated, but…''

''People say we are a cute together. Oh-ho-oh-ho.'' he replied, ''Maybe we should spend the rest of our lives together.''

''Vader, I must tell you something...''tears gathered in her eyes, ''We cannot be together.''

''Why?" he asked, surprised.

''I have fallen in love with another man,'' she stood up, ''Forget me, Vader, find another woman.''

''Who is he?! Do I know him?! Who dares steal the girlfriend of Darth Vader?!'' his solid fist hit the table.

She gave him a photo.

''Goodbye,'' she said and rushed towards the exit.

Darth Vader took the photo and looked at it.

''Why...I know him! It's...'' he shouted, ''ARTHAS!''

''Curse you, Arthas Menethil!'' he jumped up and raised his fist. ''I'll get you for this! Someday! Somehow! My revenge will be horrible! You hear that, Arthas!''

-------End of flashback------

Now they were fighting in the throne room. The advantage was on Arthas' side. One skilled strike, and Vader's severed hand and lightsaber fell on the floor. A 'Death Coil' sent Vader to the ground too.

''Now I am going to put an to your misery,'' laughed Arthas, triumphant, preparing to stab his rival, while dramatic music from Star Wars began playing in the background. "Goodbye, Vader."

Suddenly, the tune was replaced by ''Viva, Las Vegas'' by Elvis.

''What a—''both villains said in unison.

''Enough with the music already! How can I kill somebody when I'm distracted?!' shouted Arthas.

''Ok, Ok.'' sounded a new voice.

Arthas saw an old man in a black robe sitting on Terenas' throne. The old man turned off the radio and the music stopped playing.

''You have no taste!'' the old man stood up, most of his head was covered by a hood, ''This is good music!''

''And you are?'' he left Vader lying on the floor and took several steps to the throne.

''Emperor Palpatine.'' the man introduced himself, ''I have orchestrated this little showdown to see what you can do.''

''And how was it?"

''Impressive. I want you to join my side, take Vader's place as my top minion,'' a wicked smile appeared on Palpatine's face, ''So,are you interested?''

''No. I will not serve another manipulative Dark Lord!'' Arthas said proudly.

''But Arthas, I'm not just a manipulative Dark Lord.'' he said softly, ''My full name is Palpatine Menethil, the younger brother of Terenas Menethil. I am your uncle, Arthas!''

''My uncle?!'' the younger Menethil was shocked, ''But where have you been all these years?''

''When I was six years old I was abducted by a bunch of stupid aliens.'' the Emperor explained, ''and the rest is just one big sci-fi tale.''

''And you have your own Empire?"

''Yes."

''Do you have any kids?"

''No.''

''Uncle Palpatine!'' Arthas cried happily, running to his uncle.

''What is this?'' asked Palpatine, confused as Arthas reached him. ''Nephew, what are you doing?"

''Succeeding you, uncle...''said Arthas and stabbed Palpatine with Frostmourne...

Some people never change...


	10. Strategy

The Old West.

Three outlaws, wearing cowboy outfits and black cowboy hats, walked into a saloon. The place was full of visitors.

''Where is the new sheriff?'' said the leader, six-shooter in voice was dry.

''Looking for me?" a calm voice came. The sheriff was sitting behind a table three meters away from the outlaws.

''Yes,'' sounded the outlaw's dry voice.'' I'm giving you until sundown to get out of town! Got that, cowboy?"

The sheriff stood up. He wore a typical outfit of Wild Western style. Yet something seemed not right. The sheriff was a...Tauren.

''I may be a cow but I ain't a boy,'' he spoke with a fake Texas accent, ''or maybe it's the other way around?" he added in a confused tone.

''Until sundown, sheriff, until sundown...''started the outlaw.

''I'm not done talking!'' the sheriff barked, interrupting,'' I don't understand the deal with the word 'cowboy'. I mean, how is it even possible? How can somebody be a cow and a boy at once? A cow is of female gender, and a boy is...well, a boy!'' he had a stupid expression on his face, ''Whoever came up with that senseless word?"

''Cut! Cut!'' sounded a new voice.

The director approached the actors.

''You!'' he pointed at Cairne Bloodhoof (who played the sheriff),'' What the hell was that? You ruined the whole scene! You were supposed to withdraw your six-shooters and send those guys to their deaths, not talk linguistics!''

''But I have issues with the word 'cowboy'...''

''Nobody cares!'' the director continued,'' I've got half of mind to fire you,'' he added.

''You won't dare!'' proclaimed Cairne.

''Oh, yea!'' laughed the director, ''You're fired! Now get lost, _cowboy_!''

''You bitch!'' shouted the Tauren, grabbing the director by the neck, and began strangling him.

_The scene shifts to Dr Antonidas, PhD in Psychology_.

"You folks are probably wondering what the reason of Cairne's aggressive behavior was." The academic began, "No, it was not because he was just fired. According to the results of recent research carried out by the University of Stormwind, Tauren do not like to be that way. Call them 'cowboy' once...they'll just say stupid stuff. But do not repeat it! Do not call a Tauren 'cowboy' more than once in ten minutes! I'm warning you..."

_Now back to the story_.

''Security...'' whispered the directed as Cairne began to strangle him.

Security arrived just in time to save the day, and they kicked Cairne Bloodhoof out.

Cairne was sitting on a bench in the park, when heard somebody playing a guitar and singing near him.

''Look at Cairne, he's a loser."

''He is a complete, worthless loser."

''He was beaten in arm wrestling by a crab."

''He can barely tie his shoes."

''And why am I singing all this crap?

''Because I have the Cairne Bloodhoof blues...''

''Stop that stupid song already!'' Cairne shouted and turned to see the singer.

There, in three meters from him, stood Uther Lightbringer with a guitar.

''Ok, ok.'' the former Paladin said, ''But you're still a loser!'' with that he walked away.

Several hours later Cairne was still sitting on the bench.

''Cairne, is that you?'' the Tauren heard a familiar voice.

In front of Cairne stood a familiar Mok'Nathal, dressed in furs.

''Do I know you?''

'' I'm Rexxar, from The Frozen Throne expansion,'' the Beastmaster said.

''Now I remember! You, I, What's His Name and some sissy Panda kicked Proudmoore's butt.'' Cairne smiled, ''Now those were great times!'' a sudden thought of nostalgia overcame the Tauren.

''But we can return those times!'' proclaimed Rexxar, ''The Resistance will force the UN to abandon that video game treaty!''

''What resistance?"

''The one I formed after the cancellation of the Warcraft series, an unstoppable army which will get our old jobs back! You may join too, Cairne.''

''Count me in.''

''Let me show you our base.''

_At Rexxar's base..._

''This is your unstoppable army?'' shouted Cairne, looking at the ''army''.11 wisps, 8 peons and 6 peasants were Rexxar's ''unstoppable'' resistance.

''Well, yes,'' Rexxar was forced to admit, ''But tomorrow morning we will launch a surprise attack on the UN HQ. The General Assembly won't know what hit them.''

_Meanwhile at the UN headquarters.._

_._

''General Assembly!'' proclaimed the UN Secretary General.'' I have reasons to believe that tomorrow morning Rexxar's stupid resistance will launch a surprise attack on the UN building.''

''Where did you get that info?" asked one of the delegates.

''Rexxar was dumb enough to post such information on his homepage,'' came the explanation, ''So, let us prepare for the upcoming battle!''

_Next day. New York City._

''What a—!'' shouted Rexxar, looking at the fortified UN headquarters.

Barricades (with machineguns and electrical wire) had been built around the building, and snipers were seen near the windows.

''So, they won't know what hit them?" mocked Cairne, looking at the Beastmaster,'' Were those your words?''

''A minor setback,'' Rexxar was still optimistic.

''Rexxar!'' proclaimed the Secretary General, standing on the barricades, ''Take your stupid ''army'' and get lost!''

''Not until you call off the video game treaty!'' shouted Rexxar.

''This will never happen!''

''Let it be so,'' whispered the Warcraft character; he turned to his troops.'' Wave 1!''

The peons and peasants attacked but got gunned down in several seconds.

''This is your last warning!'' the Secretary General added.

''Maybe we should do what he says?" suggested Cairne, the idea did not look good anymore.

''No.'' the Beastmaster didn't listen.'' Wave 2!''

The wisps ''attacked''.

''Wisps? This is going to be amusing,'' the Secretary General chuckled, ''Hold your weapons, worst thing they can do is detonate and deal minimum damage.''

The wisps passed the defenses without any resistance; some of them flew inside the UN headquarters. Seconds later 11 powerful explosions rocked; the UN building and defenses turned into ruins and disappeared in smoke.

''I didn't know the wisps could do that.'' Rexxar raised an eyebrow, amazed to see the effect.

''Same here.'' agreed the Tauren.

The Secretary General and the General Assembly, carrying white flags, walked out of the piles of smoke.

''You win,'' said the Secretary General.

This is how the Warcraft series got renewed.

Later in the evening the Warcraft characters threw a party at Blizzard's. There were a lot of balloons, party hats, contests, music and other stuff.

THE END.


End file.
